It is an undisputable Truth across board that the life wire of every Relationship that exists is Communication. In fact, Communication is to every relationship what blood is to the human body. It runs its course through every area of relationships, including Marriage, because anytime there is a Communication breach, it destroys many things and gives the enemy a loophole to strike (Eph. 5:29-30). We need to understand that there are two major and distinct categories of Communication i.e., Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication. The term "Communication" could be defined as "the ability to transmit thoughts and perceptions between two people or parties." While studying male and female differences, we discover that women have a tendency to communicate emotionally i.e., based on how they feel, whereas men tend to communicate logically i.e., based on thinking and reasoning hence the latter operate more with cold hard facts. It is worthy of note that we often tend to interpret things based on how WE ARE rather than the way THEY ARE. This is a typical instance of the Law of Perception.
There are Three Fundamental Carriers of any Effective Communication which we must understand in order to foster Greater Love and Harmony with our spouses. Each of them is a critical determining factor behind either every breakthrough or breakdown in Communication:
1. THE ACTUAL CONTENT: This refers to those words which are articulated or spoken expressly in the hearing of others (Job 6:25). This makes up 7% of every Effective Communication. Words possess the ability to heal as well as kill or damage your spouse's self esteem (Prov. 12:18). This is why it's very important to hold your tongue when you are angry since you may not communicate your thoughts well and may end up saying things you might eventually regret.
2. THE TONE OF THE VOICE: This speaks about how you sound when you communicate, a factor which is subject to various kinds of interpretation (Prov. 27:14). This constitutes 38% of every Effective Communication. The Holy Bible tells us that "a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Prov. 15:1).
3. NON-VERBAL SIGNALS: This talks about Communication without the use of words which includes gestures, body language and subtle shifts in eye contact (Gen. 31:2). This makes up 55% of Effective Communication, making it the lion share thus far. For instance, a woman may obey her husband's instructions while maintaining a deadpan countenance, something which is hard for the simple to easily decipher.
While correcting your spouse, you must learn to regularly apply what we call the "Sandwich Approach," i.e., having one helping of correction sandwiched in-between two layers of commendation so your spouse won’t be tempted to misconstrue your intention to get things right. Apparently, in order to bring down tension in Marriage to the barest minimum, there are certain things you must be ready to overlook in the Spirit of Tolerance. However, there are equally some sensitive things you have to nip in the bud by sitting down with your spouse to discuss or iron them out. Wives, whenever you are relating with your husbands, please don’t hurt their egos because Authority is designed by God to be influenced rather than challenged. In the same way, husbands, while relating with your wives, please don’t hurt their feelings for they are delicate and need to be handled with care (1 Pet. 3:1-7). Wives, always remember that any man you can't submit to is inevitably a man you can never influence or have Favour with. Selah.