Today, I want to speak briefly on the dynamics of covenant relationships.
Last week, we began looking at covenant and the nature of covenant, and there was so much to unpack. Today, I want us to continue that journey by looking at some of the foundational covenant relationships we find in Scripture.
There are many covenant relationships we can learn from in the Bible. We are familiar with David and Jonathan, for example. But I want us to begin with one of the most foundational covenant relationships: marriage.
Marriage: A Covenant Relationship
Malachi 2:13–14 says:
“And this is the second thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and crying; so He does not regard the offering anymore, nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
Notice the phrase: “your wife by covenant.”
Marriage is one of the oldest institutions in existence. It is older than the Church. It goes all the way back to the Garden, when God brought Adam and Eve together.
God is deeply interested in the marriage institution because the family is foundational. No matter how versatile and powerful the Church becomes, we must never abandon the foundations. The family is one of those foundations, and the family itself is built on covenant.
Malachi tells us that God was addressing the children of Israel concerning unanswered prayer. They were crying and weeping at the altar, yet heaven seemed silent. God then showed them that something foundational was wrong in their relationships.
Their covenant had been violated.
This tells us something important: God takes covenant seriously.
The Enforcing Party in a Covenant
Remember that covenant involves parties.
You have the people entering into the covenant, but there is also an enforcing authority behind that covenant.
Think about a legal agreement in the United Kingdom. When two parties sign a legally binding agreement, there is an authority behind that agreement that gives it weight and makes enforcement possible.
The strength of an agreement is therefore connected to the authority standing behind it.
This is why, when we previously considered different expressions of marriage—traditional marriage, civil marriage and church marriage—we considered the authority behind each one.
In a traditional setting, the families and parents may function as an enforcing authority.
But what happens if the couple moves thousands of miles away? What happens if the parents do not know what is happening inside the home?
They may call and advise, but their ability to intervene may be limited.
Civil marriage has the authority of the state behind it. The government has institutions and laws that can intervene when certain things happen.
But there are still things that may never be reported.
Then consider a covenant in which God Himself is the witness and enforcing party.
God sees the seen and the unseen.
He sees what was reported and what was never reported.
He has unlimited resources.
That is why, for the Christian, marriage before God is not simply a ceremony. God is invited into that covenant as a witness.
Covenant Involves Promises, Vows and Commitment
The Passion Translation renders Malachi 2:14 along these lines: you promised before Yahweh to be faithful to the wife you chose in your youth; she is your partner and you are bound to her by covenant.
There is something there that we must notice:
Promise.
Covenant involves promises.
Covenant involves vows.
Covenant involves commitment.
During a wedding ceremony, people make vows before God and witnesses. But those words should not simply be a generic script that means nothing to the people speaking them.
You should understand what you are promising.
You should be committed to fulfilling what you have vowed.
The Message translation makes the same point: God was there when the marriage vows were spoken. God witnessed the faith bond.
So when we are talking about covenant, we are talking about vows, promises and commitments.
People sometimes run away from commitment because commitment appears to narrow their options.
Even in church service, somebody may be happy to help until they hear what consistent service will require.
Then they say, “Please, I just want to come and go as I please.”
Why?
Because commitment feels restrictive.
But what I want you to understand is that every covenant also carries benefits.
Nobody enters into a meaningful covenant without something being available through that relationship.
Every Covenant Has Benefits on Both Sides
Let me make this practical.
Imagine a small country approaching one of the most powerful nations in the world and saying:
“Enter into covenant with us. If another nation attacks us, come and defend us. And if anybody attacks you, we will also come and defend you.”
The more powerful nation would naturally ask:
“What is in this relationship for us?”
Because covenant involves two sides.
If one country has enormous military strength and the other has very little, the smaller nation may not have much military assistance to offer.
But perhaps that smaller nation possesses a resource, geographical advantage, technology or strategic asset that the larger nation values.
Suddenly, a covenant becomes possible.
One side provides protection.
The other provides access to something valuable.
That helps us understand something about covenant.
Now bring that picture into our relationship with God.
You approach God and say:
“Lord, fight for me. Protect me. Defend me.”
What can you possibly offer the God who is called the Lord of Heaven’s Armies?
What military assistance can you provide God?
What resource does God lack?
This is the question that came to me while preparing this message:
What do I really have to offer God?
What Does God Ask From Us?
Genesis 17:1–2 says:
“When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him, ‘I am Almighty God; walk before Me and be blameless. And I will make My covenant between Me and you, and will multiply you exceedingly.’”
Look at the two parties.
On one side is Almighty God.
On the other side is Abraham.
What does Abraham have that Almighty God needs?
And yet God says:
“Walk before Me and be blameless.”
That is what God asks.
God's side of the covenant contains resources beyond human comprehension.
The Bible calls them the unsearchable riches of Christ.
And what is God asking from you?
Walk before Me.
Live consistently before Me.
Walk in obedience.
The Amplified Bible helps us see the sense of consistency contained in that instruction: walk habitually before God, continually and in complete obedience.
God is looking for a life that is consistent.
Habits are powerful.
People understand how difficult bad habits can be to break. A habitual smoker may struggle even with all the support available. Somebody else may have developed the habit of staying awake every night watching films and discovers that it is extremely difficult to stop.
Why?
Because habits create patterns.
God says:
Make walking with Me your pattern.
Let obedience become habitual.
Let fellowship with Me become consistent.
“The Lord Will Fight for You” Is Covenant Language
We love Exodus 14:14:
“The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”
But remember who God was speaking to.
He was speaking to a covenant people.
Israel was not simply a random collection of people quoting a motivational verse. They were a people connected to God's covenant with Abraham.
Yes, God has invincible armies.
Yes, God can fight for His people.
But covenant makes us ask another question:
What is my response to the covenant?
God has so much to offer.
We fight over resources on this earth that are insignificant compared with what belongs to God.
Human beings fight over gold, diamonds, land and wealth.
Yet this is the God who says in Psalm 2:8:
“Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for Your possession.”
Sometimes our prayers are too small.
We are crying to God about little shifts, little opportunities and little things, while the God we serve says:
“Ask Me for nations.”
Manchester—is it bigger than a nation?
The United Kingdom—is it beyond God?
God is trying to enlarge our thinking.
This is the Person calling us into covenant.
God Gives Grace for What He Requires
Sometimes when God says, “Walk before Me and be blameless,” we think:
“Lord, how am I supposed to do that?”
But God does not merely give you an instruction and then abandon you.
He strengthens you to fulfil what He commands.
If God calls you to holiness, what does He give you?
The Holy Spirit.
God says, in effect:
“I want you to live holy, and I know that you cannot produce holiness by human strength. So I will put My Spirit within you.”
Ezekiel 36 tells us that God puts His Spirit within us and causes us to walk in His ways.
Whatever God genuinely calls you to do, He supplies grace for it.
Covenant Changes Your Status
This is one of the powerful things about covenant.
Covenant changes status.
Imagine that a woman of ordinary social standing enters into marriage with a king.
The moment that covenant is completed, something changes.
People who knew her before cannot relate to her exactly the same way anymore.
Why?
Her status has changed because of the covenant she has entered.
In the same way, when you enter the New Covenant through Jesus Christ, your status changes.
You have been brought into union with Christ.
You now have access to the unsearchable riches of Christ.
There is a weight of glory and a dimension of spiritual access that comes through covenant.
And this change is not something that begins ten years later.
It begins when you enter the covenant.
You are no longer merely defined by your earthly background.
You have entered another commonwealth.
The Bible speaks about the commonwealth of Israel.
There are covenant resources available to God's people.
I pray that you begin to tap into the riches available to you through Christ, in the name of Jesus.
What Does the Lord Require?
Deuteronomy 10:12 gives us a powerful summary:
“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul?”
What does God require?
First, fear the Lord.
This speaks of worship, honour and holy reverence.
Second, walk in His ways.
That is obedience.
The ways of God are revealed in the Word of God.
Third, love Him.
Devote your attention to Him.
Fix your gaze on Him.
And fourth, serve Him with all your heart.
These are foundational things.
God has everything, yet these are the things He asks from us.
“Because He Has Set His Love Upon Me”
There is something beautiful about Psalm 91:14:
“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.”
Think about that phrase:
“He has set his love upon Me.”
God is the Most High, yet in relationship He makes Himself accessible to our love.
We sing:
“Jesus, I pour my love on You.”
How can a human being pour love on the Most High God?
Because God desires relationship.
He allows us to draw near.
He allows us to love Him.
He allows us to fellowship with Him.
That is extraordinary.
“Come, Let Us Reason Together”
Another picture of this is Isaiah 1:18:
“Come now, and let us reason together…”
Think about that.
How can you reason with God?
Isaiah 55:8–9 tells us:
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways… For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
There is an immeasurable gap between the wisdom of God and the wisdom of man.
Yet the same God says:
“Come, let us reason together.”
Why?
Relationship.
Because God wants fellowship, He brings Himself to a place where you can speak with Him.
He allows conversation.
He allows communion.
He allows relationship.
That is covenant love.
Covenant in Marriage: Becoming One
Genesis 2:24 says:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
No matter the status of the man or the woman before marriage, when they enter covenant, they now have to learn to reason together.
Maybe one is older.
Maybe one earns more.
Maybe one has more education.
Maybe one came into the marriage with greater social status.
But covenant creates a new relationship.
You must be able to reason together.
You should therefore be careful not to marry somebody with whom you cannot truly walk in covenant.
Marriage requires the ability to come together, reason together, submit to God's order and build together.
Revelation Affects Manifestation
And let me say something practical.
Sometimes we look at somebody's results and immediately dismiss them.
Somebody says, “I don't care about that type of car.”
Okay—but have you experienced it?
Sometimes it is easy to criticise something we have never handled.
If you experience it and then decide, “This is not for me,” that is different.
There are things people know that affect what they manifest.
There is revelation behind many results.
And this applies beyond cars or material possessions.
It applies to business.
It applies to ministry.
It applies to relationships.
It applies to life.
Do not automatically glorify lack.
There was a time in sections of the Church when people began to think poverty itself was holiness.
If somebody drove a good car, people almost suspected that something was wrong spiritually.
No.
Being broke does not make you holy.
And possessing resources does not automatically make you ungodly.
Everything belongs to God.
The Bible says the cattle on a thousand hills belong to Him.
Jesus has the whole world in His hands.
So when I receive Christ, I should not develop a theology that says everything good must belong to somebody else.
Understanding What Matters in Covenant
Now let us return to Genesis 2:24.
If a man says to a woman:
“Come into covenant with me. I will love you, protect you and care for you.”
And she replies:
“I will also love and care for you,”
we still need to understand something.
In every relationship, there are particular things that carry enormous weight for each person.
Many marital problems can begin to be addressed when you ask:
What matters most to this person?
Not twenty things.
Sometimes there is one foundational thing from which many other needs flow.
Find it.
Understand it.
Because when that foundational need is continually neglected, the relationship may begin to malfunction.
This applies to both men and women.
Respect, Partnership and Love
Remember the order we saw in Deuteronomy:
Fear the Lord.
Walk in His ways.
Love Him.
Serve Him.
If we use that pattern simply as an illustration of some needs within marriage, the first idea—fear or reverence—can help us think about respect.
Respect matters deeply.
Then, “walk in His ways” can help us think about partnership and following together.
If one person is pursuing God, the other should not deliberately undermine that pursuit.
If your spouse is praying, support them.
If your spouse is genuinely seeking God through fasting, do not make yourself the enemy of the fast!
Walk together.
That leads me to something else:
Fasting is the fast lane.
Think about a catapult.
To launch something forward, you first pull it backwards.
There is restraint before release.
Fasting is a restraint on appetite that can position a person for spiritual acceleration.
It may feel like denial, but there is power in disciplined restraint.
Fasting is the fast lane.
Then we come to love.
Love matters.
But a house gives us a useful illustration.
Paint Does Not Make a House
Paint does not make a house.
Paint can beautify a house—but only if there is already a house to paint.
You need a foundation first.
Then the structure.
Then you apply the paint.
Imagine buying paint when there is no building.
What are you painting?
Nobody builds a house by beginning with paint.
That is why covenant relationships need foundations.
Feelings alone are not enough.
Romance alone is not enough.
There must be substance.
There must be respect.
There must be partnership.
There must be faithfulness.
There must be commitment.
And then love beautifies everything.
The only place you can put paint on foundation is in makeup!
That one works in cosmetics.
But marriage is not cosmetics.
Marriage is not makeup. It is the real thing.
Do Not Let Social Media “Makeup” Destroy Your Marriage
Some people spend too much time online looking at “couple goals.”
You see a thirty-second video.
Flowers everywhere.
A beautifully decorated bedroom.
Somebody kneeling down.
A surprise gift.
A perfect holiday.
And then you look at your own spouse and say:
“You are not romantic.”
You do not know what happened when the camera went off.
You do not know what is happening behind the scenes.
Sometimes the room you keep seeing online is the only room in the house that looks like that!
It is content.
It is presentation.
It is makeup.
Do not allow somebody else's edited presentation to ruin the genuine blessing God has given you.
You may actually be doing much better than you think.
Do not compare your real life with somebody else's production.
What Matters to a Woman?
And the woman also has an order of priority.
For many women, love, attention, devotion and genuine care are extremely important.
When those things are absent, malfunctioning can happen in the relationship.
And sometimes love must become practical.
Sometimes love looks like:
“I transferred money to your account.”
And suddenly the woman brightens up!
You say:
“I thought you were not feeling fine?”
She says:
“Don't worry. I'm okay now.”
Why?
Because money itself may not be the point. But financial provision removes real pressure.
There are bills.
There are responsibilities.
There is life.
A man cannot say:
“It is not about money. Did you not read the poem I sent you?”
My brother, will the poem pay the electricity bill?
You say:
“Look at the rhyming.”
Wonderful.
Put the poem online, make money from it and bring the money home!
The woman cannot properly appreciate the poetry when hunger has blurred her vision.
Let love become practical.
Let care become tangible.
God Is Looking for Covenant-Keeping People
Proverbs 20:6 says:
“Most men will proclaim each his own goodness, but who can find a faithful man?”
This is where I want us to end.
We serve a covenant-keeping God.
And God is looking for covenant-keeping people.
A covenant-keeping people matched with a covenant-keeping God produces blessings, abundance, inheritance, exploits and goodness.
The problem comes when covenant is continually violated.
So the question is not merely:
“What can God do for me?”
The question must also become:
“Lord, what matters to You?”